Goodbye Kuala Lumpur - Hello Singapore

{I Dream poster by Anna Emilia}

Lovely readers… I feel I have not let you in on some, very exciting news I think…it has been so hectic these last couple of weeks or months actually that I really only now find the time to tell you more about this… in short – after having lived in KL for almost six years, we moved to Singapore – we only arrived last week so I consider myself lucky I have my internet connection sorted (almost…). Our move to Singapore fills me with both excitement and, I must admit, some sadness. Exciting because my new home-town is absolutely buzzing with creative vibes and is home to many of my online friends. It has beautiful architecture, is clean and provides for a safe environment for my two (three...) Boys. 

I feel sad to leave behind the many good friends I’ve made in KL over the years – local, international or some combination of both – KL is a true melting pot of cultures and people which is what I love so much about that city. In addition to the amazing food and shop culture. In the past, our moves were always instigated by my husband finding yet again a job in an ‘exotic’ place, but this time, truth be told, I was the one that told my husband that we should move. Why you might think? Well, personally, I have started to feel increasingly unsafe in KL. And this not a ‘posh high maintenance expat mom’ complaining, but a genuine concern about safety is widely felt by locals and internationals alike. This sense of not being safe creeps up on you – first, you are not really aware of it but then you are suddenly overwhelmed by it when you find yourself discussing with friends (attempted) child abductions, violent break-ins, bag snatching and carjacking more or less routinely.

The British school my boys attended doubled and then seemed to have tripled the number of guards at the school gates after a Dutch boy who attended an American school was kidnapped (and later released unharmed). This case made the news, but there are many cases of child abductions (some that don’t end well) of local kids that do not make the headlines. Similarly, our gated community started to feel more like a prison – with my friends joking whether the dozens of guards were meant to keep the residents in or the bad guys out. Especially females and kids are vulnerable – all of my female friends have drivers that double – in their own words – as body guards. KL was not like this when we arrived there almost six years ago – and my friends who have lived there all their lives or much longer than we have, assure me that KL, while rough around the edges perhaps, was a friendly and safe place.

Then, very unfortunately, the risk of harm to me and my family hit very close to home – I will spare you the details but suffice to say that I and my boys have been threatened and stalked. This can happen everywhere of course, but to me that was it – I knew we had to move.  Constantly being on guard when walking around on the streets and not even daring going out by myself at night. Just simple things that I have always taken for granted, such as going to a shopping mall with my kids and doing some groceries started to feel uncomfortable and unsafe.  

Of course, this is my personal experience, and I am sure there will be Malaysians and expats that disagree wholly or partly with me. The fact is that this is indeed my experience – a bad one, among the many good experiences that I have had living in Malaysia. And just like the positive ones I wanted to share this with you in the most balanced and transparent way possible.

I always told my husband that I would follow him everywhere around the globe, but that I would never live in a place where I felt my children would be unsafe. I don’t want to be naïve as I know there are many places in this world that are unsafe, especially for kids, and many of the people that are affected by those circumstances cannot simply pack up and leave – so, yes, I consider myself very fortunate that we were able to move to Singapore. 

I do feel sad to have left Malaysia…a beautiful country with a friendly and diverse people. But I will cherish many fond memories of our time in KL, although I wish I could have moved for more positive reasons. 

So Hello Singapore! Excited and thrilled that we can start a new phase in our life. I will be sharing with you all the great things this city has to offer…starting this week with insights on local design and interesting places to visit... 

~irenexoxo

 

Comments

[hester]

Having just arrived in Singapore not too long ago myself from Hong Kong I'm excited to hear about a new arrival for the design community :-)

If you need an tips on getting settled you might find my site helpful (sounds like a shameless plug but really isn't!) xxx

[Amy@Pikaland]

Hi Irene! I'm so sorry to hear that you've left Malaysia for Singapore – but I think it's for the best. Singapore has lots to offer – a great public transportation system, safe streets and more! As one who lives in KL, I wish that more is being done to improve the situation over here, but it might take a while, unfortunately.

I'll miss you! :)

[Tazim]

I have been to both KL and Singapore, and can say that I know what you mean about Singapore being so clean and feeling like it's buzzing with excitement. I'm sorry to hear of the reasons why you left KL, but am glad you're already happy about being in a new city.

[Amelia]

Good for you to the courage and privilege to be able to make that move. Singapore is an amazing place and you will love it. I'm Malaysian, living in KL and very upset at the rate that crime has escalated over the past few years. Like you, I live in a gated community and commute only within the safe zones in KL. My kids are restricted from going to several places simply because it's unsafe. It's sad because that's not how I grew up.

I choose to stay in KL because I believe that soon, all this mess will be cleaned up and KL need citizens like us to stay put and fight it out. Being in the business of design in Malaysia, you have been a great source of inspiration. I'm just sorry that you had to leave KL with a terrible experience.

All the best in SIngapore and don't forget to shed some light on the design scene here in KL :-)

[Jan]

Enjoy your new city - I look forward to hearing about it! And sorry to hear about the unsafe feeling in Malaysia - but I can understand entirely - especially with the littles.

[Marjon]

I am just happy for you! Release, space, oxygen, new energy, creativity, freedom, happiness.... :) Big kisses! xx

[Sky]

Hello Irene,

Welcome to Singapore :) If you need any help at all, just send me an email.

[Sarah M]

Good luck on your new adventure! I have been to Singapore and love it there. Definitely very safe! I love you blog, too! :)

[margarita]

Hello Irene, I think you and your family have done the right decision, safety should be a luxury but a given way of living, I know that a lot of people don't have it, I wish we could all have the same opportunities in life...all the best in the new city, looking forward hearing and seeing your new adventures.

[Jasmine Koh]

Hi Irene,

How awful that you and your children were threatened in KL. I can understand your decision and hope you will settle down quickly here in Singapore. Wishing you a really lovely time here.

[fenny setiawan]

Irene, I am sorry I did not able to say good by personally. But I am sure we will meet for our long pending appointment over coffee :) one day in Singapore. it is just 45 min away by flight btw hehe...

I absolutely understand about what you wrote. I feel KL is totally different too compare the first time I moved here, back in 2005. I almost never go to public places such as malls and cafes alone or only with my kid. I prefer to go with my hubby or just stay at our condo where has pretty much needed facilities such as playground, swimming pool, cafe, etc. I am sure you will love Singapore instantly. The safest place that i can think of in this world :).

Note: I still owe you one post, I still remember about it, I hope I can submit soon :) Xo.

[Di]

An adventure to add to your collection of adventures. I am sure that Singapore will be a great place to bring up your family safely!

[Miranda]

Wat een nare reden om te moeten vertrekken zeg! Maar ik snap het heel goed, hierin moet je echt je gevoel volgen en dat hebben jullie gedaan.
Heel veel geluk in Singapore!!!

[Suzanne Yamamoto]

Welcome to Singapore! It will be wonderful to catch up after not seeing you since I was in KL! Suzanne

[Lucy]

I had the pleasure of visiting Singapore some years ago. I'm a Canadian, living in Canada, but I would relocate to Singapore on a moment's notice! Enjoy your new home, and I hope it treats you better than the last.

[Margaret]

It is a wonderful place to live (and eat)!
How wonderful for you.
(I was lucky to live there for a few years and have never felt safer.)

[emma]

two years ago,my work took me to singapore.it was very short(12 days)but I was surprised to see how safe the city was.those days were like a dream to me and I think I left a little bit of myself hanging out there...I can't wait to see your posts about the city...I hope you'll be as happy as I was.

[Claudia Arends]

Hi Irene,

Wat vervelend maar vooral jammer voor jullie natuurlijk, om te horen. En ook zeker jammer voor zo'n fantastische stad. Hopelijk wordt er iets aan gedaan en kunnen gezinnen, die zoals jij ook zegt niet zo snel hun spullen kunnen pakken en verhuizen, daar toch op een veilige en fijne manier wonen.
Maar vooruit kijken is het beste! Singapore! Wauw! :-) De planning is er om tijdens reis nog naar toe te gaan en hopelijk gaat dat ook lukken. Ik heb er veel mooie verhalen over gehoord.
Ik ben benieuwd naar je tips en ervaringen daar. Geniet ervan!
Claudia

[Susan]

A mix of feeling, no doubt. Though safety for you, your family has to come first. Your boys will understand and admire your courage for having made the move. My parents did that for me and my brothers. I say that with experience. We left Central America due to civil war at the time, back in the 80's. Enjoy the change, the new adventure and looking forward to reading your stories and photos from Singapore. Susan @susimenez

[Ahappywednesday.blogspot.com]

Hi Irene,

I am sorry to hear about the why, but sincerely hope you will have a comfortable and safe home in Singapore! Can't wait to learn all about Singapore through Bloesem.
Best wishes from Amsterdam,
Laura

[Dee]

Wishing you all the best in your new home Irene and looking forward to all your new posts from Singapore.
Dee x

[Lisette]

@Irene: You are very welcome! :) Indeed I did leave Hong Kong because its humid climate and increasing amounts of pollution were affecting my health quite badly. I LOVED living in HK so it was very sad to have to go, and for many years afterwards, basically until I settled in Barcelona, I was 'homesick' for it...

xoxo Lisette

[petra]

Sounds like a good move, Irene!
Wishing you and your family all the best.

[irene]

@Lisette thank you all for the kind comments ... and Lisette did you have to leave HK for the smog? I have heard bad stories about it. I can only image you being very happy in Barcelona right now! ~irene

[Lisette]

It sounds like you have enjoyed the best and suffered the not so great that KL has to offer! It is very sad to feel one is 'forced' to leave, be it for health (as happened to me years ago when I left Hong Kong) or safety reasons, as is your case. Thanks for sharing your experience with us, and all the best for this new adventure in wonderful Singapore!!

xo

[Lena]

I'm sure you'll feel at home in Singapore very soon, too. And sorry to hear that you've been threatended and stalked! As a (short term) ex-expat myself I can relate to everything you write. We used to travel a lot before we had children and the more exotic the place was the more exciting we thought it was - but when you have family safety comes definitely first. Living the diplomat/expat life may look posh and super privileged to many (and in a way it is) but it has its darker sides, too. I wasn't made for it, the thought of my children having to grow up in a gated community makes me depressed. I really hope you can enjoy your new freedom in Singapore!

[Sonia]

My previews comment went lost... anyway I'll write again:
I wish you all the luck in the world and understand what you mean. I guess cities are getting harsh everywhere in the world. Your decision is for the best, I've had family with the same issue years back in Rio, Brasil. Too scary with all the kidnappings and you living in a gated community and have to do everything with a car.
Liefs.

[Michaela]

Welcome to Singapore! I have found it a safe haven too after moving from Mumbai 18months ago.
I never felt unsafe or threatened as you did but I think for kids Singapore offers so much that other Asian cities do not..
A clean green great outdoors for a start!
All the best for settling in.